I thought I was safe from the vortex of infertility obsession: checking out web stats in various permutations on 3-day transfers… IVF success rates, success by age, by number of embryos transferred, by grade, protocols, previous diagnoses… You get the picture. I had this month all planned out too! I’d keep myself busy by blogging, completing the revisions for the final paper for my Masters, taking the dogs out for long walks in the local park and tackling the mountain of work from my day-job. Yet, I STILL spend endless hours mired in the spiral, with Dr. Google.
It’s a dangerous place. I go through these obsessive phases where I can’t seem to find enough information on infertility, though it happens less frequently now than during the first, disappointing couple of years when we started TTC. I definitely spiraled during my first IVF. And until recently, I’d been pretty good about staying away from the endless searches on the computer for information and stats on women going through IVF#2.
I really have to get some work done and stop obsessing. Anyone have any ideas on how to do this? I guess fear of getting fired, or failing my Masters should be pretty good motivation! Well, tomorrow is another day, and I did plow through a few pages of work. I even almost forgot that I was in the 2WW for a little while. Sigh.