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I’m at a weird crossroad in my life where I’m not really sure how I define myself. My career has always been important. Now, without work to go to everyday, I’m finding myself a bit… lost.

DH started work on Tuesday. There was a job opportunity for me in a neighboring city, but I chose not to accept it because we don’t know where we’ll be living yet and I may be able to work as a freelancer from home for my former managers. Also, as we start the adoption process all over again, it wouldn’t be a bad idea if one of us had a more flexible schedule. We’ve learned that adoptions from the region we used to live in can happen quickly (we’re still keeping those options open, even though we’ve moved), so I really didn’t want to start a job, only to request leave or resign a few months down the road.

It’s a huge risk. I’ve never been without a job. I have an aversion to organizing my own finances so self-employment has not always been the best choice for me. I’m also terrified that an adoption might not happen for a long time, in which case, I will be kicking myself for letting that job opportunity in the city go. DH’s family has been nice enough to house us and the pups until we find a home or a rental.

Surely, some contracts will come through. I’ve been written into several proposals over the last month; something will have to come through soon, right? Otherwise, I’m just a stay-at-home… dog-owner? napper? experimental chef? I dunno. What do you think?

December 2009
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