Orphans arrive in Ottawa

I’ve been watching the developments from Haiti with concern, as I’m sure many of you have been as well. There has been so much tragedy there that the positive stories become so much more important.

The Canadian government has taken the unusual step of fast-tracking the adoptions for parents who were already waiting to adopt a child from Haiti. Today, 52 of these children arrived in Ottawa, Canada to their new families. I’ve watched the scene play out on the news several times today, and it always  touches me. This is the second group to arrive. No new adoption applications to Haiti can be considered under this fast-track, which is a wise decision (unfortunately, there have been some situations where children have been snatched).

Unfortunately, I’ve decided that I can no longer read news about this on the internet. Many of the comments are so horrible and obviously written by people who know nothing about the adoption process. Many of these commenters don’t seem to realize that these adoptions have been in the works for years already and are speaking out against the “ease” of these adoptions.

Are you KIDDING me? An easy international adoption?! I have never heard the words “easy” and “adoption” uttered in the same sentence. What about the months of paperwork, physical examinations, police checks, necessary training sessions, children’s aid checks, references, and loss of all privacy as you open up your lives (willingly) to scrutiny by the various government bodies? I’m not complaining about any of these steps… I am going through them and I fully support the fact that they are there to make sure that adoptive parents are fit to be parents. But I’m astounded by the people who don’t understand the process at all, or the waiting period for international AND domestic adoption.

Others are not happy that they’re bringing in children from a foreign country… don’t even get me started on the racist overtones on these ones or my head might explode.

I could go on and on but I just get mad. Really mad. There’s so much ignorance surrounding this process and people can be so cruel.

I wish only the best for these new families and hope that the children are able to heal after all that they’ve been through over the last several weeks.

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2010/01/27/haiti-orphans.html#socialcomments

Your life in little boxes

The thing about adoption is that there is an awful lot of paperwork. It’s been a challenge to pin DH down for more than a couple of hours to try to finish these up. He’s been so busy with his new job, often working 12 hours day trying to get caught up on everything. I, on the other hand, have all the time in the world. It’s too bad that I can’t fill in his questions for him. I think I could, actually, but I think that’s not really in the spirit of this whole process!

I think we’re done FINALLY, all the little boxes filled in and signature lines signed. We received the package from our practitioner in early December, so, it only took us a month to complete. Ick. Sometimes I think we’re our own worst enemy in the process, delaying it unnecessarily. Life gets in the way, right?

It was difficult to fill in all the questions but maybe I was just overthinking them. The questions really force you to reach back into the far reaches of your mind, maybe even to things you never really wanted to open up again (first dates? first sexual experiences? Yikes!). It’s difficult not to wish I could just get knocked up like the majority of the population to avoid all this paperwork.

New year, new town

Happy new year everyone!

It’s been a long time since my last post. When you last heard from me, I was stuck at home. Not much has changed since then. Oh,except that I now have a set of wheels, which means I could leave the house (which was in the country, 10 miles from the nearest store… I got to know the property reallllly well!). I feel like I’m 16 again and just got my driver’s license (weeeeeeeee!).

Also, we’ve moved to town a few days ago, closer to DH’s work, so we’re one step closer to settling. We continue to search for homes, but in the meantime, we’ve settled into a townhouse for a few months. I love my little town! There are great restaurants, a lovely main street and lots of places to take the dogs out for long walks.

The holidays were rough. I went shopping and stopped at a cell phone store to pick up another charger for our phone (ours got lost in the move). I ended up leaving the store feeling like I’d been punched in the gut. I wanted to look up our account at the store, and since it’s in DH’s name, I mentioned that he was at work while I ran some errands at the mall. The insensitive sales guy says “I wish I was a woman. It’s so easy for you. I’ve been working my whole life.” UUUUUHhh…. Did he just say that? He did NOT just say that did he?!! I was frozen in a weird monologue in my head…. Do I tell him I’ve actually had a successful career and am taking a break? That I just completed my Masters while working full time? That he was a sexist jerk?

I decided I didn’t owe this guy any information about myself, but he kept chattering on…. After learning that I didn’t have kids, he went on and on about how they make it all worth it and I had better start trying soon. Once again, I had that internal monologue, which was peppered with more colorful language this time.

So, I’m no longer with that company. Not solely because of this interchange, but that didn’t endear me to them. I was tempted to write a letter to their head office, but like my personal information, I’m not sure it’s worth my time.  The sales guy can take his company’s cute advertising, with the cute farm animals and catchy music and stuff it up his ….

Ahem!

On top of all that, there was the barrage of social obligations attached to the holidays. We traveled to see my parents, and I caught up with some old friends. It was great but hard too. They all have young kids and new babies. Ultimately, the conversation turns to their kids, and then it’s hard not to feel like they’re at a different party, and we’re not invited. Oh well. On the one hand, it’s so nice and comfortable to see them again, but it was so difficult to keep smiling. I felt empty by Boxing Day.

On a positive note, we met with our adoption practitioner. She’s terrific. Very professional and direct. We’re currently trying to complete the mountain of forms. The process in this region is a million times more detailed than in the region we used to live and some of the questions are really hard to answer. We’re almost done and hope to arrange the first homestudy interview soon (I hope!).

Ok, this has been a long update. I’ll close this here for now, and will try to post more regularly now that we’re more settled!! Thanks to all of you who commented on my last couple of posts. I’m looking forward to the future and will definitely be taking some of your suggestions!